What do you mean, "I could try talking to her" ? I wouldn't want to look stupid, right?
So last night the Sultan and I went to a Tenacious D concert, and holy cockswoggle was it awesome. We got to the show an hour early (Sultan upset that it wasn't two hours), and sprinted to the front as soon as we were inside, getting right up to center stage. The night started out with an opening act known as The Sights, an awesome blues rock band that got the house ready for a fucking great night. Their live performance was wild and entertaining, which their recorded music doesn't really get to show off, but it's still some freaking sweet rock and roll. Well, then it was time for the D to come out and rock our face holes inside out, and they did just that. Jack and KG came out, followed by the rest of the band, and started the show off by playing the whole first half of their new album underneath a giant inflatable Phoenix Penis. Their backing band was the same guys that they've recorded and toured with ever since The Pick of Destiny (minus Dave Grohl, who played drums on their albums but never tours with them). After finishing up some more Rize of the Fenix songs, the D moved on to all their greatest hits and concert staples. The whole thing was classic Tenacious D - stage pranks, costumes, and lots of banter between Jables and Kage. During the song "Sasquatch", Bigfoot himself came out onstage, killed guitarist John Konesky, stole his guitar and started wailing out a rocking solo, before ultimately being mega-tazed by The D with a foam dart gun. Then, when Kyle quit the band forever after an argument, and walked offstage, the entire theater, despite knowing what was going to happen already, erupted into a thunderous chant to try to bring their favorite underrated superstar back into their lives again. The sheer volume of the crowd chanting "Rage Kage! Rage Kage!" caused Jack to turn to the crowd and tell us all "No sir, no amount of chanting shall ever bring this man back. Chant all you want, it's over." And of course due to the success of their new song "Roadie", the roadie on tour with them was met with his very own chant of "Roadie! Roadie!" whenever he came onstage, as well. But then, at the climax of the show, in an event that can only be described as "The Greatest Tenacious D Moment That Has Ever Happened, Ever," the Phoenix Penis bent down, leaned over the crowd, and ejaculated a cloud of Tenacioud D cum-confetti all over our cheering heads. And what's more, this was what the confetti looked like. After the Moneyshot of Destiny was all over, The D finally took their well-deserved bows, and the Phoenix shriveled up and deflated, most likely to take a nap and recover until the next show. The Sultan and I left with ringing ears in our heads and Tenacious D sweatshirts on our backs, an emotional experience like no other.
It was bitchin'.